Tips For Indian Guys Dating In Usa
Disclaimer
- This article is meant to be constructive criticism and an effort to improve the lifestyle and image of Indians in the U.S. Take everything positively.
- This article is not meant to label Indians with stereotypes. It does not represent all of the 3 million or so Indians living in the U.S. Everyone does not do everything mentioned here. It is based purely on personal experiences and observations.
- Even though the examples in this article may refer to someone from a specific region, state, or caste, it is just an example and may apply to many other types people. Do not take anything personally or literally.
- This article is not meant to be against Indians, not to complain against Indians, and is not bashing Indians.
- The U.S. has many positive things to offer. (Not everything, though.) This article hopes that some people learn the good things from it.
- Everything mentioned is not always a bad thing done by all Indians and some of the things mentioned here may exist with other people as well. However, it is an effort so that all Indians will be proud of themselves after changing themselves, and be seen positively by others some day. When a country welcomes you, your duty is to first try and assimilate with the people and its culture.
- If you think you have a better way to express any of the comments in this article in a nicer manner, please send it to us and we will sincerely consider it. Otherwise, please do not make complaints about how this article is not written in the right spirit.
Definitions
- Indian means the person of origin of India, a country in South Asia.
- For the purpose of this article, Indian means anyone of Indian origin living in the U.S., even if the person is a citizen of U.S. or any other country. Includes second, third and nth generation Indians as well.
- Even though American is a proper term for anyone who is U.S. citizen (including people of Indian origin), for the purpose of this article, American means people in the U.S. who are of European origin, white or Caucasian race.
- Definitions of South Indians and North Indians vary among people. But the proper definitions are
- South Indian – People from Andhra Pradesh, Karnataka, Kerala, Pondicherry, Tamil Nadu and Telangana.
- North Indian – It typically includes the Hindi speaking regions. In other words, it includes Bihar, Chattisgarh, Haryana, Himachal Pradesh, Delhi, Jammu & Kashmir, Jharkhand, Madhya Pradesh, Punjab, Rajasthan, Uttarakhand, Uttar Pradesh. That means, it excludes Gujarat, Maharashtra, Goa, Orissa, West Bengal and 7 other states in the Northeast. Not everyone would agree with these definitions. Many South Indians would consider the rest of India as North India which is inappropriate (e.g., Gujarat is in West India, and not North India). Some people say there is no North India, but only South India and the Rest of India.
Indian means the person of origin of India, a country in South Asia. For the purpose of this article, Indian means anyone of Indian origin living in the U.S., even if the person is a citizen of U.S. Or any other country. Includes second, third and n th generation Indians as well.
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- Anushka 22 Private Dating An Indian Guy In America Escorts Bandra, Mumbai. Hi dear, My name is Anushka, a 22 years old bachelorette in Mumbai. I am extremely hot and a co-operative girl with a cute smiling face.
- Here’s what you need to know about an Indian man’s dating game. First and foremost, drop the plan. I’ve gone through my share of endless “game plan”-oriented dating websites, books.
Work
Tips For Indian Guys Dating In Usa 2020
- Use the company resources only for company work.
- Do not print 100 pages worth of personal stuff on company printer.
- Do not abuse sending email or making personal phone calls (including calls to India) using company resources.
- Be sincere at work and be at the desk most of the time. Do not spend hours doing social networking, sending instant messages, chatting or otherwise wasting time.
- Do not spend an hour or two socializing with others at work. You are in office to work.
- Everyone at work is not necessarily your personal friend. They may not want to share their personal details such as what exactly they did during the weekend, or information on their love life, etc.
- Do not discuss salary or a performance appraisal, etc.
- You don’t represent the entire India which has over 1.25 billion people and counting. Do not consider yourself an authority on India and every subject. You are not an Ambassador of India to the U.S.
- If something bad or negative happens in India, don’t take the blame for it or feel embarrassed about it.
- If something good or positive happens in India, don’t take too much pride as if you did that yourself.
- Work is work and private life is private life. Keep them separate. Do not talk too much about your private life at work and don’t expect others to tell you too much about theirs either.
- Do not get involved romantically with anyone at work. It is an issue especially with someone who reports to you or is under your hierarchy. You don’t want any sexual harassment charges filed against you if it things were to not work out.
- Do not eat sambar/rice (or other similar food) by hand. Use a spoon.
- Do not make noises while eating lunch at work. No slurping.
- After eating lunch in a company cafeteria, make sure to clean up after yourself. No peon or maid is normally present to do that for you.
- Just don’t drop into anyone’s cubicle at any time of the day to start personal gossip.
- Don’t hang around in the office till 8 PM or 10 PM, or work on most weekends. Spend time with your family. If you are still single, spend time with your friends. Have some sort of a life outside of your work.
- Do not take office supplies home for personal use for yourself or your kids.
- If you are a manager or even higher in your company, do not favor someone just because he is from your state, city, or caste. Do not discriminate against others.
- Call your boss or anyone else higher up in your company up to the President or CEO by their first name. There is no concept of calling superiors by “sir” or “madam”.
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- When you see other Indians (or anyone else), at least smile at them. When others (especially ladies) smile at you, don’t take the wrong meaning. They are simply being polite.
- If you see another Indian, don’t have the mentality that you are here because of your intelligence but others are here because of luck or fraud.
- Make sure to talk in the most common language that everyone can understand. For example, if someone understands Marathi, it is fine to talk to each other in Marathi as long as no else is in the conversation. However, as soon as a Gujarati or a Bengali is in the conversation, immediately switch to Hindi, assuming that all of them can understand Hindi. Similarly, as soon as Tamil person is around, switch to English, assuming the Tamil person doesn’t know Hindi. Similarly, as soon as some American or non-Indian is around, definitely switch to English. It is simply rude and annoying for two Telugu speakers to have conversations in Telugu when a Punjabi and Kannada person is around, as the other two have no clue what is happening. Do not make others feel isolated. (Again, each language referred to here is simply for illustration purposes only.) Do not start a debate of whether Hindi is a national language (of India) or not. Just talk in any language that everyone around you can understand. If a Marathi and a Bengali are talking in Hindi, South Indians should not automatically assume that Hindi is their language and if they can talk in Hindi, you can talk in Tamil. Those two guys are simply talking in the most common language among them. There are many other languages other than Hindi in the rest of India. South Indians should not assume that everyone else’s language is Hindi. Simply talk in the most common language that everyone can understand.
- Whenever you meet another Indian, don’t immediately ask ‘Where are you from?’ where the expected answer is which state he/she is from. For example, many South Indians want to socialize only with other South Indians. Within that, many Telugu speaking people want to socialize only with other Telugu speaking people. Within that, many Hyderabadis want to socialize only with other Hyderabadis. Within that, many Reddys want to socialize only with other Reddys. (Again, this is just one example for ease of understanding. Do not take this literally). Please do not do that. Just because someone is not from your caste, your city, or your state, do not automatically exclude him or ignore him. Both of you are from India, both of you now live in the same city and in the same state in the U.S. Therefore, behave accordingly and respectfully.
- Do not start arguments about South Indians vs North Indians, or Tamil vs Punjabi or anything like that, at least in front of non-Indians. It only makes fun of India overall and proves to others how divided India is.
- An average American has no idea about such differences and does not care. Many Americans may not even be able to recognize the difference between an Indian or Pakistani. If an average American sees an Indian, he may think this person is from the Middle East. Please do not continue to have regional differences as it is not worth it. You have come to America for a “better life”, whatever that means. Try to be American in all the positive ways that you can.
- All South Indians are not ‘Madrasi’. At the same time, all North Indians are not ‘Bhaiyya’.
- Second generation Indians may not like first generation Indians and first generation Indians who have been around here for 20 years may not like the ones who just came to the U.S. 2 months ago. Please understand that no matter how long you have been around here, others still consider you Indian.
- The same Indian who arrived to the U.S. 10 years ago, who was highly in favor of giving greencards to H1 holders quickly, has now become a U.S. citizen. This person is now against giving more greencards to newly arrived H1 holders. It seems that everyone wants to shut the door behind them. That is not fair.
- The same Indian who stands in line properly when he is at the U.S. post office does not want to obey the line when he is at an Indian function such as Diwali Mela, 15th August etc. People start behaving as if they are in India, and they start cutting the line, pushing others in front of them, and simply crowd up as many people as they can.
- The same Indian who drives on a U.S. road properly and parks properly at the mall would like to break traffic rules and park randomly at Indian functions or even in a neighborhood that is predominantly Indian. Please understand that you are still in the U.S. and you still need to obey the driving rules. Otherwise, the police may give you tickets.
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Visit insubuy.com or call 1 (866) INSUBUY or +1 (972) 985-4400- Don’t throw trash all over the place at Indian functions.
- Even within your apartment complex, do not roam around in lungis (men) or night gowns (women). Do not venture out like that even if it is just to throw away trash in the trash container located in your apartment complex. If at all you wear a lungi, please don’t fold up half way.
- Just because an Indian family invited you to a social function like a birthday party, it is not OK to come very late just like in India. For example, if the host booked the venue for 7 PM to 9 PM, that means, the host has to vacate it exactly at 9 PM. The host paid for every guest including the food, tokens for playing, a cake, a goodie bag, and everything else based on the number of people expected to attend the event. It is simply not right to show up at 8.30 PM. If you are invited for the event at 7 PM, be there on time by 7 PM. The same Indian would show up to the meeting at work at 9 AM sharp. Why not be punctual everywhere?
- Don’t show off to other Indians that the work you are doing is great or complicated and assume that others are simply mediocre people. You never know who you are talking to.
- Some newcomers to the U.S. think they are something great just because they made it to the U.S. You may show that attitude to others you know who you think were still left back in India. However, don’t show such an attitude to other Indians who are here, especially the ones who have already been here for a long time.
- Don’t show attitude to others based on how educated you are, how rich you are, or who your father is and what his influence is (in India).
- If possible, try to adopt an American accent properly. However, do not throw on a fake accent just 3 months after moving from India.
- Do not wear sports shoes with trousers or with a saree or salwar. (If someone has a foot problem and must wear shoes, it might be justified.)
- Don’t be stingy. Buy some good clothes and live a quality life.
- Don’t stereotype Indian people from other states: All Gujaratis are not motel owners, all Telugus do not have fake degrees, all South Indians are not software engineers, all North Indians are not cooks in restaurants, all Punjabis are not taxi drivers, etc.
- Do not buy a small drink at a restaurant just because refills are free. More importantly, do not buy one drink and share it with your entire family because refills are free.
- Do not abuse the return policy of a store. Do not buy new clothes and bedsheets because it is a Diwali and then use them and return them. Do not buy a new camera for a couple of days because you need it just for that one trip and then return it after using it.
- If you have a really long name, don’t complain that it does not fit anywhere. Legally change your name to a shorter one if it is truly a problem for you.
- Tuck in your shirt.
- If you visit a beach or a swimming pool, don’t ogle at the girls/ladies in swimsuits. Don’t go too close to them and embarass them. In any case, do not take their pictures and make them uncomfortable.
Bollywood Concerts / Shows
- Do not get up from your seat and block the view of others behind you. (Comments to organizers: Do not allow such behavior and have enough security personnel to enforce it.)
- Do not crowd up the place between the stage and the front rows to take pictures, dance, or for any other reason, especially if the stage is not high enough. The person who has purchased a $500 ticket to sit in the front row has at least as much of a right to enjoy the show as you have, whether you have purchased a $25 ticket or a $35 ticket. Be considerate to others. Don’t make fun of front row seat people by saying that they could see only your butt/back or had to see the show only through your camera’s viewfinder. (Comments to organizers: Do not allow such behavior and strictly enforce it. And in any case, keep the stage higher, and not too low.)
- Sit in the seat you have paid for. If you have purchased a $35 ticket, sit at your place. Do not try to sneak into a $100 seat or a $500 seat, if any of them are vacant. If you want to sit in those seats, pay for it. (Comments to organizers: To be fair to those who purchase higher priced tickets, do not allow such things. Does any airline ever allow economy class passengers to sit in first class or business class seats just because some seats are vacant? No.)
- If the show is at 8 PM, be there on time. Do not show up at 8.30 PM. Worse yet, do not show up at 9 PM or even at 9.30 PM or 10 PM and keep walking in front of others disturbing everyone else and blocking everyone else’s view. (Comments to organizers: Make the habit of starting the show right on time, irrespective of how many people are present. Do not allow anyone entry after the scheduled show time. Next time, people will start showing up at the right time.)
Hygiene
- Put deodorant on every day.
- Shave regularly, preferably every day.
- Cut your fingernails regularly, but not in front of others.
- If you touch a food item, you are expected to take it and eat it. Do not put it back and expect others to pick it up and eat it.
- Don’t pick your nose in front of others.
- Do not wear hawai chappal (or slippers or flip flops) around. In fact, do not wear leather chappals either. Get a good pair of shoes and wear them consistently. Otherwise, you would invite foot pain sooner or later.
- Use less powder on your face as a dark face and white powder is not a good combination.
- Wear perfume but not too much.
- Take a bath (shower) daily.
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Meet & Marry Exotic Beauties
Indian women are the newest group of ladies to begin signing up with international dating agencies. They are signing up in droves for all of the same reasons that women from Ukraine, the Philippines, Colombia, and so many other countries have opted to.
Because seeking a Western man – even if he is ethnically Indian – gives them an opportunity to escape an overwhelmingly patriarchal society and simply have a richer, fuller life.
Internet dating is becoming an increasingly popular way for women in India to find suitable partners for dating and marriage.
Even many of the most isolated Indian villages have internet these days, so beautiful Indian girls know that they are not completely bound by the restrictions of caste and geography.
For many Indian mail order brides marrying a foreigner is the same as escaping from slavery – slavery of culture, religion, and family tradition.
It gives them incredible new opportunities that most would never have otherwise. A quick view of the news about the treatment of Indian women is enough to shock almost anyone.
Often the police do not protect them from crimes, particularly when they are committed by their relatives or spouse. And they are often “sold” in traditional arranged marriages.
This practice is slowly becoming less popular, but it still can feel like slavery to a woman who is ordered by her family to marry a strange man.
But of course, the situations vary widely with each lady.
Why You Should Date An Indian Woman
If you are looking for a beautiful, intelligent, traditional mate then you should date an Indian woman.
There are literally millions of traditional Indian women who would love to meet a Western man, but most of these women live in India’s thousands of villages and small towns. In the villages, India is still an extraordinarily backward and conservative society.
Life has not changed much in a thousand years, religion, and caste rules still control daily life. It is very rare for Western men to meet women from small cities and rural village in part because of language problems, but also because there are not many tourist attractions.
But today – despite still living with same basic cultural rules and religious regulations as their grandmothers a thousand years ago – they know that not all women live by the same rules.
A growing number of these women have access to the internet and the brightest and most beautiful of these women are beginning to say, “Why shouldn’t I have an interesting life?” Indian mail order brides are not stupid. That is usually what sparks them into signing up with one of the international dating agencies.
These village and small-town girls tend to be much more traditional – too traditional for most American men – except for men of Indian descent.
For the millions of men of the Indian diaspora spread around the world, a woman deeply anchored in traditional Indian culture might really be attractive, but generally, those men find their wives through relatives and friends, not online.
Indian mail order brides are almost completely overlooked by foreign men, so they tend to be amazingly receptive to guys that take some notice on the dating sites. If this sounds attractive to you try to do a search for women from cities other than Mumbai or New Delhi.
This is a particularly good strategy for men of Indian heritage because you can meet women from different parts of the country with a similar background and culture to your family.
This way you can meet a woman your family will approve of without having to go through the distasteful process of an arranged marriage. Realistically, women from smaller cities are probably the best bet.
Hot Indian Girls in a Modern World
Most Western men are more likely to be attracted to highly educated Indian women from one of the big cities. These women speak beautiful English with a slight accent and that is a huge advantage because it means there is no need to try to learn a foreign language.
In general, these city girls are a sweet combination of traditional Indian culture with the intelligence, education, and moxy of a Western woman.
Often a modern Indian woman from a large city seems a lot like an American woman from about 1950. They are smart and educated but completely devoted to their family.
Many of them are career women, but career women whose first loyalty is to their husband and children. A lot of American men find this mixture extremely intoxicating.
Indian girls are naturally quite beautiful with dark complexions and a deep sense of fashion. Culturally they grow up in a society that has a history of deep sexual and religious passions.
When people ponder Indian women they tend to think of them as highly conservative. But remember the Karma Sutra, literately the bible on sex for the last several thousand years, originates from India.
One nice thing about dating Indian women today is that most urban women are modern and cosmopolitan. This is important because it means that the cultural differences are a lot easier to negotiate between Western men and Indian women than they used to be.
The cultural differences are small and fading fast. Today many Indian women watch Western movies and television. They listen to Taylor Swift, but they are also still Indian women.
A prominent Indian film director recently commented that the cultural differences were disappearing because… We want their films, their cars, their planes, their diet cokes and also their attitude. The American way of life is creeping into our culture.
There is certainly a downside to this global homogenization, but it does make it easier to establish a relationship with a beautiful Indian woman. It also makes it easier to communicate with her and travel to see her.
Indian Marriages
Indian culture tends to be much more conservative than Western culture. It’s important to know when talking about dating Indian people, and Indian culture, that it varies so widely depending on where you are.
Arranged and love-based marriages both exist in India. In the case of arranged marriages, the parents usually get together, then the children either say yes or no and then the dating begins.
In the case of love-based marriages, first the daughter talks to her mother, then her mother talks to her father.
Some traditional Indian cultures look down on divorce, and usually, even a widowed woman may have a very difficult, if not impossible time finding a second husband. For these reasons, usually, Indian people tend to stay together once married.
There is a marked difference between western and Indian culture when it comes to romance. Western people tend to see dating as a process of trial and error while looking for the right person.
India girls date in hopes of finding the right person that will ultimately want to marry her.
This is just not going to happen in India.
Dating is not normal in India, with most of whether or not a girl will date depending on her family. With any Indian woman you are interested in, it will be very valuable if you get to know her family and culture. Then you will know what you can and cannot do in their culture.
Dowries are also common with the bride’s father giving presents to the groom’s family, even though this practice is illegal.
Indian Brides – Love vs. Tradition
It’s important to understand how an Indian relationship works, and how it differs from the western relationship ‘ so you can understand and thrive in your relationship.
Indian people have a culture of extreme devotion, love, and affection towards their partners. In that, they treat their partners as an extension of themselves.
As such, they are willing to sacrifice for their partner’s well-being. Ultimately an Indian marriage or relationship is a partnership of love and caring. Respect and kindness towards each other are important values that should always be kept in any relationship.
It’s important to remember that 9 out of 10 marriages in India are arranged, so the best way to get into a long term relationship with a girl you like is to get on her parent’s good side.
Generally there is no wooing or meeting before the marriage, however, there is an exception if you are a foreigner looking to meet an Indian woman, in which case meeting online is usually the easiest way to get the ball rolling.
Within India, parents and relatives have a lot of say over a woman and her relationship. Often it will be the parents themselves who post ads online looking for a suitable match for their daughter.
Generally, courtship is not encouraged, and the idea of dating multiple people is undesirable to Indians.
It’s important to remember that in Indian culture the families’ interests are seen as more important than the happiness of the couple. So they will often push for a girl to marry more than they will worry about her romance with the man she is marrying.
In India, the central idea is that it’s what a couple does together during their marriage ‘ not how they meet, which determines the happiness of their union.
However, it is becoming increasingly common for people to date in India without alerting their parents to what is going on. This allows young people to get to know each other without the risks of parental involvement.
This is especially true of Indians abroad or dating abroad, where Indian people will often adopt the customs of whatever country they are in ‘ and dramatically reducing the influence the family has over the marriage.
Increased affluence has also reduced the appeal of arranged marriages and it is becoming more and more common for people to focus on love-based marriages.
Subsets of Indian Dating
There are tons of hot India girls because India is the seventh-largest country in the world by land area, and the second-most populous, and, as Indian newspapers constantly remind you, the most populous democracy in the world.
Because India is such a gigantic country, there are many different cultures and religions that you should be aware of if you intend to date Indian women.
Here are a few of the more common subsets of Indian Dating:
Hindu Dating
If you are looking to date someone who is Hindu you should also be Hindu. Traditionally in India people date from the same caste and religion. You can also be of a higher caste and date into a lower caste, though it’s questionable if your family will approve of this (if they are Indian).
Any modern Hindu girl has been raised under a culture that doesn’t accept dating. While it is not an impossible feat, it is difficult. It also depends on where you are, for example, if you are in a major city it is going to be a lot easier than being in a small village.
Hindu girls are traditionally going to avoid you, as they have been raised to avoid men until they are married. In order to meet one, it’s advised that you start slowly and build. You can begin with a simple conversation and move forward by talking about Hinduism.
You should also know that if you date as a Hindu before marriage, and are discovered by a priest, they may attempt to force you into a marriage.
This is only very conservative Hindu groups who have made such threats and in major cities, it may be less of an issue.
Tamil Dating
Tamils can be found around the world in Canada, America, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, and of course, India. If you want to date a Tamil, going online can be an effective and successful way to meet someone of the same culture as you.
Respect her culture and traditions if you were raised abroad. Understand that she will have different boundaries than a western woman and those need to be acknowledged and respected if you are going to win her heart.
Show her chivalry and respect. Traditional Indian culture places great emphasis on treating women well and you can win her heart by showing respect to her and getting on her families good side.
Desi Dating
If you are looking to date anyone who is Desi, then we have several tips for you to keep in mind:
- Family is a big part of all the cultures that are Desi, so use it to your advantage and befriend your mates family
- Culture is going to vary from place to place, and if you are dating in a foreign land, most Desi people will pick up many of the habits and customs of that land
- Know what you are looking for, whether you want someone who is traditional or progressive, so you can avoid any heartbreak in the future
Overall Desi people can have very beautiful tanned olive skin and stunning features, which only makes them that much more attractive to date. Keep these tips in mind and you can enjoy greater levels of success in your relationships!
Best Indian Dating Sites
There used to be just a few sites for finding Indian women for marriage, but that has changed in the last couple of years.
For a long time, our favorite site was Indian Cupid. It is part of the Cupid Media empire. It has a lot of profiles and is easy to use. DesiKiss, is very similar to Indian Cupid. It also has a sea of profiles and a lot of useful tools.
But if you want to meet absolutely the hottest Indian girls the two best sites are AsianDate and ArabianDate. Both of the sites are part of the Anastasiadate family of sites and they have all of the strengths and weaknesses of all the Anastasia sites.
Indian Men And Relationships
If you do not understand what that means go read our review of Anastasiadate.
Tips For Indian Guys Dating In Usa Near Me
Who knows why Anastasia splits profiles from the subcontinent into two sites, but I believe that Muslim women are more likely to be listed on ArabianDate and Hindu women are more likely to be listed on Asiandate, but if that is the general rule it is not absolute.
There are a lot of Muslim girls on Asiandate and there are some Hindu ladies on ArabianDate.