Dating With A Japanese Guy In The Usa

  • Group dating is common until two people in the group establish that they want to get serious.
  • Declaring your love isn't jumping the gun — it's establishing that you're serious about starting a relationship.
  • Professional matchmaking is making a comeback among busy Japanese people who don't have time for dating.
  • If you're a non-Japanese person who is dating a Japanese person, don't assume that everything is a cultural difference. Some things are personality quirks, not cultural ones.

Let's face it: Dating is hard everywhere. Everyone who has ever dated anyone has their own tales of woe just the cultural differences that vary from place to place. If you have a mixed-culture group of friends where you live, you may already have witnessed the tip of this particular iceberg.

This is by no means a comprehensive guide, but here are some of the things you might experience on the dating scene in Japan.

Japanese Singles In America

With free personals and matchmaking services, you are sure to not only find a date for tonight, but read all about the secret of Asian dating in United States, casual dating, dos donts of dating, how to flirt and much more. Our site members range from 18 to over 80 years old. The majority of our members are 25 years or older. This Asian dating platform has the best dating app which has been highly rated on Google Play. The only drawback with this service is that it can only be used for local dating and never international because the matching up of potential partners is based on where you are currently located.

It's not uncommon in America to do things as a group of friends. Maybe you'll go see a movie, grab a bite to eat, go to a party — the potential list is endless. But most Americans go on a date in pairs rather than groups.

In Japan, group dating — or goukon — commonly happens first. It's a way to gauge mutual interest and suitability, as well as mix with a potential partner's friends.

You might think that this sounds low-pressure compared with American dating customs. But there's still plenty to stress about.

'Lots of young people don't really date because it can be expensive (for guys) and stressful — the women I know always worried so much about what kind of outfit to wear because it would affect the 'type' their date assumed them to be. Everything has a label here- there are so many different 'types' of men and women, girls and boys,' Beth Daniels — an American who has lived and worked in Japan for several years — told INSIDER.

The practice of kokuhaku (confession of love and/or interest) often starts the Japanese dating process. This makes things simpler in a lot of ways according to Yumi Nakata of GaijinPot. Nakata was born and raised in Japan, and then moved to the US for school.

According to Nakata, with kokuhaku, you're not left wondering if someone is interested in you as a love prospect. Both men and women can be the first one to make a move, and you'll get an answer about whether your would-be object of affection is interested in you very quickly.

Public displays of affection may be common in the US, but not in Japan

'On my first date with my 'ex' we obviously clicked so I expected at least a little kiss at the station before we went our separate ways, but all I got was a stiff hug,' Jen McIntosh, an American studying in Japan, told The Japan Times.

'I analyzed it to death and a friend who had been in a relationship with a Japanese man for three years told me that I was lucky to get a hug in a public place. I wasn't expecting to make out in front of everyone, but I did get irritated when he would never hold my hand or touch my knee on the train.'

Dating partners' ways of expressing emotions can differ significantly

'Ways in which feelings, and love in particular, are expressed can lead to frustration. [Westerners] expect more direct verbal expression and physical contact, whereas the Japanese partner may not feel comfortable with this kind of expression. Nonverbal communication, subtle signs are highly valued in Japan and if they are not noticed by the Western partner, frustration and resentment follow,' Tokyo-based psychotherapist Dr. Ana Maloyan-Kishida told The Japan Times.

'Traditional matchmaking (omiai) is still around, and according to some people is making a comeback because nobody has enough free time to waste it on happenstance meetings, as it were. It takes a long time to get to know someone. The appeal of the traditional matchmaker is that everyone is vetted by a pro, their priorities and stats have been compared to yours and deemed acceptable as a possible good fit,' Daniels told INSIDER.

Routines are comforting and useful to all of us, especially when we're very busy. But they also make your chances of meeting someone new more difficult. Even if you live in a big city and don't drive, you might still catch the same bus every day, or walk to the same train stop and see the same people with little to no variation.

'The main problem everyone agrees on is that it's really, really hard to meet new people organically. Japanese society itself kind of prevents it, because everyone sticks to their little groups- work, hobbies, family, classmates. If you wanna to meet new people you have to change your workplace, or take up a new pursuit, like yoga classes or a team sport,' Daniels told INSIDER.

When you don't have a lot of time to spend on dating, you want a sure thing before you jump in. So while online dating sites are available, they aren't necessarily anyone's first choice.

'Lots of people use dating sites, but don't like the uncertainty plus the timesuck,' Daniels told INSIDER.

But sometimes what you may think is a cultural difference just comes down to a personality quirk

'What may be an individual struggle with closeness or a deeply seated fear of intimacy may be interpreted as a cultural phenomenon. I have seen people who have tolerated bizarre behavior in their partner, justifying it as cultural difference. Only later on, have they become aware that this was pathological behavior, even within the cultural context,' Dr. Maloyan-Kishida told The Japan Times.

Mami Suzuki — a Japanese woman who dated and eventually married a Canadian man — agrees.

'Long before meeting him I had learned from movies and television that Western people aren't shy about kissing in public, but I didn't know that they also wouldn't mind farting in public. I don't know. It may only be my husband. Yeah, it probably is,' Suzuki wrote for Tofugu.

Sign up here to get INSIDER's favorite stories straight to your inbox.

Get a daily selection of our top stories based on your reading preferences.

SEE ALSO:How dating is different in the UK and the US

FOLLOW US:INSIDER is on Facebook

More:FeaturesDatingJapanRelationships

Why is TJM's Matchmaking So Successful?

The goal of all of our members is “marriage” not “dating”. We measure success when our members “get married” unlike typical online dating sites which have no criteria. If you really want to marry a Japanese woman, this is the right place.
Over 20 years, Traditional Japanese Matchmakers has built a solid reputation as the most reliable and successful matchmaker for gentlemen seeking to marry a Japanese woman. If you are ready to get serious about finding love and marriage, we are here to help you make your dream come true.

Japanese Women Only

99% of our female members are Japanese who were born or grew up in Japan. If you are searching for a 'Traditional' and 'Authentic' Japanese woman, this is the right place.

Personalized Matchmaking

We base our system on one on one consultations which covers all members’ personal needs. We also include pre-screening of our members in order to ensure safe introductions. Our effective and efficient methodology ensures a successful outcome for you.

Japan’s Number One Matchmaking Service

We are one of the top international matchmaking agencies in Japan. We specialize in introducing single professionals and Japanese women. We are proud of helping to create many happy marriages for over 20 years.

Message from A & R (Italy)

ルナさん、直子さん、スタッフの方々へ 御社からご紹介いただいた男性と幸せに日々暮らせていることに感謝の日々です。本当にありがとうございます。 …

Message from R (California)

We have been married for 7 months and very happy. While we are still navigating the vis…

Steve and Luna (Minnesota)

I had recently moved back from living Japan and I wanted to meet someone who could keep me…

  • 1.Japanese Women Only

    99% of our female members have Japanese citizenship. Some of our female members have Korean citizenship, but living in Japan.

  • 2.Verified Members Only

    All of our members undergo our special screening to ensure everyone's safety and expectations are met.

  • 3.Exceptional Members Only

    We only accept men and women as members who are sincerely seeking a happy marriage.

STEP.1

Signup for TJM’s Free Registration

Signup for TJM’s Free Registration. You will be able to receive our latest female members’ information, Single Party invitation, and Tips to create a harmonious relationship with your Japanese woman.

TJM’s Free Consultation includes a 30-minute Matchmaking Evaluation with one of our experienced matchmakers. Required document for the Free Consultation is a copy of your current valid passport photo page.

STEP.3

Signup for TJM’s Profile Registration

After the consultation, please take a step to TJM's Profile Registration. Our matchmakers will work for you to select your Best Matches after your profile is created.

You will receive your potential matches selected by our experts based on the personal criteria of your profile.

STEP.5

Signup for TJM’s Full Membership

If there is a female member you are interested in getting an introduction among the profiles you have received, you will need to sign up for our TFull Membership to take advantage of our high-quality matchmaking service.

We arrange Online Meetings for you with our selected female members. If both you and the female member wish to keep in contact after the online meeting, please continue your communication using online tools, such as email, text and video chat.

STEP.7

Meet Your Preferred Matches in Japan

With

What To Expect When Dating A Japanese Man

Meet your preferred matches in person at meetings arranged by TJM. We require our male members to visit Japan in 3 to 6 months after they start communication with their potential matches, in order to have face-to-face meeting(s) with them.

Exclusive Singles Events:

We host singles events exclusively for our Full Members.

Travel Assistance:

If you need assistance with traveling to Japan, please contact us.

Each of our unique TJM’s Team Members are married to a non Japanese man. All of them are experiencing international Marriage life. Because of that our matchmakers deeply understand how wonderful multicultural our clients think

Naoko Matsumoto

Founder, CEO and Certified Personal Matchmaker

Dating Culture In Japan

Naoko Matsumoto is a certified personal matchmaker, founder and CEO of Traditional Japanese Matchmaker (https://TraditionalJapaneseMatchmaker.us), the first international matchmaking company in Japan specializing in matchmaking for gentlemen and Japanese women all over the world.

Naoko established TJM, a matchmaking company, in Minami Aoyama Tokyo in 1999. In her private life, she met a wonderful German-American man in Los Angeles and relocated to the USA in 2006 after getting married to him. Naoko started hosting Singles Party events in Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco, Singapore, and Tokyo.

In addition, Naoko started another business that trains matchmakers in 2017. By doing so, TJM will more effectively cover Australia, New Zealand, and Europe.

TJM celebrates its 20th year In 2019! Naoko Matsumoto is proud of 20 years experience in the matchmaking industry and in relationship coaching. TJM

  • Would you like to meet Japanese women?
  • Would you like to marry a Japanese woman?
  • Are you tired of playing online dating sites?
  • Are you just too busy?
  • Do you need a professional assistance?

YES! We are here for you!

TJM’s matchmakers will assist you in finding your ideal partner who will make your life fabulous!

“Spread Love from Japan to the World”

This is our mission.

Dating Japanese Guy

Over the past 20 years, Traditional Japanese Matchmaker has been one of the top matchmaking services in Japan. We have assisted many of our members become happily married couples and they have spread to many countries in the world.

Don't waste your life with ruined relationships, sign up for a consultation with one of TJM's experienced advisors today!

Japanese Dating Service

If you are really looking for true love and a happy marriage, we are here for you to help!